Now that the Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs allows states to ban abortion because fetuses have a right to life from the moment of conception, it’s time to rally for the rights of sperm. Everyone knows that fetal personhood is a given from the moment of conception. And women should not be allowed to have birth control or contraceptives either because that keeps life from coming to fruition too. Thanks to the Supreme Court decision in Dobbs, states now have the power to tell everyone what they can and cannot do with their reproductive bodily fluids and protoplasm. Let’s think about what this really means if we take this idea to its logical next step.

Every time a man or boy carelessly ejaculates thousands of sperm are deprived of the right to live under the 14th Amendment. This is unfair and unequal treatment under our Constitution. Why are male sperm being left out of the right to life movement? Why don’t sperm have the right to find an egg and live life to the fullest? This is discrimination!

Just as women and girls who get pregnant need to be forced by their state governments to carry to term and give birth or face criminal consequences, men and boys who masturbate and leave thousands or even millions of sperm dying in receptacles, paper cups, in back alleys in the trash everywhere all over the place without a thought to that desecration of life! must face consequences for their actions too. States must pass laws outlawing male masturbation and punish these men and boys who don’t give ejaculate their God given chance to live full lives. Maybe if these miscreants were facing jail time they would understand the gravity of their criminal behavior.

It is only fair that men and boys pay for abandoning their sperm just as women and girls pay for abandoning fetal protoplasm. Deprivation of life is deprivation of life, after all. No more spermicides! Spermicide is homicide! No more online porn sites to encourage ejaculation and senseless loss of life. This is child sacrifice.  These are satanic practices.

My religion tells me that life begins at ejaculation. And my religion trumps your religion because I say so. This is what I believe. So you must believe it too. If you live in a state that shamefully still allows men and boys to throw away ejaculated sperm then rise up and elect people to your state legislature who will pass laws to prevent this abomination.

Join me in the fight for procreation! Stand up for the rights of the unborn and pre-conceived! Sperm have a right to life too!